The Inevitable Bubble Bursting......

In all things you do in life in an effort to better yourself, your situation, or a relationship, or job.... there exists a symbolic "bubble" of sorts. This being the one action, or idea, or intent that you nurture in order to improve and progress. It's that one specific thing that you so brilliantly came up with that will get you through it above everyone else that has ever attempted the like.

One can get very excited about their bubble ideal and hang on it to it a bit too tightly. As in all things in life... it will burst. It will blow up and break. Maybe in a huge disasterous explosion, violent and alarming..... or a small quiet deflation... silent and sad. But it will happen, and almost always at the hands of someone you know. The most frustrating part is why you are generally the only one who is enthusiastic about it... from start to finish, you think you have a handle on it.... I've finally found the secret! And boom..... and no one seems to care. Not even the guy holding the needle.

I get pretty excited about things.... I'm a fairly emotionally intense person. I get all jazzed up about work and doing my job well and truly believe in what I do (most of the time) and that philosophy carries into most aspects of my life. If I feel a passion for something.... I'll go in 100% hard and fast.... close your eyes and jump and worry about impact and recovery later. There is never a "right time" to do something.... you'll spend a lifetime waiting for everything. So.... I tend to be a little overzealous about life and the things that make me tick so to speak. And the bubbles that go with each one will break.... and break again... and again.... throughout my life.

I thinkI am getting better about dealing with it. I try very hard to ignore the eruption and focus on the next step. I find sometimes that I am even grateful for it, sometimes that's a higher power telling you that that is not the right path for your life. I don't see it as giving up.... but when you pour your heart and soul into something, and it repeatedly blows up in your face.... maybe its time to investigate your options. Life is far too short to spend your time and energies on things or people that don't nurture and appreciate who you are and what you set out to do.

So.... I find I am learning to cope with changes much better. And when my bubble bursts now, and the disappointment sets in..... I just try to bend my focus to find that part of me that knows I did the best I could. Not everyone will see the potential in me, I can't force it, whether it be as a friend, employee, partner, relative.... whatever category I may fit into someone's life.... I can't let the disappointment in, I have to realize that I see and feel things so much deeper than most people, and take to heart so much more of life's everyday interactions. So, as I write this I realize it brings me back around to my idea that we are all in control of ourselves, completely. The sadness and disappointments I feel are all me..... not them. I will learn to choose the "happy place" from now on. Let the bubbles burst and simply learn to giggle at the carnage, because it will always be there.......

As Forrest Gump would say, "That's all I have to say about that......"
-Cyn