It's official.... I am exhausted. And I never use that word. I hate that word... it almost implies you have given up, nothing left... just done. And now I feel myself thinking it more and more. I have not had 5 minutes to myself in months. Always somewhere to be, someone to see, something to do..... I just want to sit home and NOT be expected somewhere. I am tired of disappointing someone every weekend by being expected elsewhere, and if I were to change plans, someone else would be disappointed anyway.

Life is confusing enough... and I thought I was doing the right thing, but there comes a point when you have to take care of yourself too. Not that I haven't enjoyed my weekends visiting family and friends, but 10,000 miles in 4 months is a lot of road to cover, and I'm just tired. I'm tired of being in the car, and tired of not being able to squeeze everyone in, and tired of knowing I've let someone down, or forgot someone, or broken plans and the time didn't go as far as I'd hoped. And by the end of it I get home just in time to go to sleep so I can get up and devote my next 5 days to job and a dog and a cat and a household that wears me out even more.

So to anyone I have not seen enough, broken plans with, went to city A when I was supposed to go to city B, left earlier than originally planned, stayed one place too long or not long enough...... etc... etc... I'm sorry I can't keep up. I hope all those who feel slighted will forgive me. I did my best and I will be here in Chicago if you need me.