Pack Rat...... or Memorabilia Enthusiast ??

I am unpacked..... completely... for the first time in my adult life. I was like a machine...... 10 hours..... non-stop just on a mission to sort through, clear out and throw away every ounce of cardboard box in my apartment. And I succeeded.

Some of the things I found .... I had letters from high school. Not kidding, not cards, or significant documents, but letters that were passed to me in who knows what class talking about "so-and-so's hair and how badly she pegged her pants and what was for lunch that day or are we going to Gordy's for hostess in the Ranger instead of gym class" kind of notes.... and you know what? They were awesome! I loved reading them. It took me back 15 years to a place I loved. Most people can't really say they loved high school, but I was a lucky one. It was great, my friends were close and life-long (although I didn't know it at the time), my family was full and supportive, my home was wonderful and comfortable, my town was quaint and fun.... when I look back at my childhood, I can't think of a single complaint. I'm sure I had them in the midst of it all, but I was a very fortunate girl, and I hope I knew that somewhat at the time.

But.... it goes beyond notes... I found things I have no idea what they were, what purpose they had, where they originated.... Things I've carted around for over 14 years.. and I have no idea why. Just to name a few, some familiar, some totally foreign... And I am not ashamed to say... most of this stuff I kept!

• 5 Bubbalicious wrappers stapled together
• a rock
• my softball jersey from senior year
• my basketball uniform from 8th grade
• tap shoes
• a phone book from Mason & Oceana County from 1995 (it has Batman and Bruce Wayne listed)
• my prom tiara (yes, I wore it for a while and did laundry, oh... what a moment.... )
• every single prom, homecoming, formal whatever dance photo ever taken at Pentwater High
• several Pez dispensers
• a box of Hardy Boys playing cards
• a giant, poofy, velvety, hair scrunchy ( I threw it out due to the embarrassment at viewing it all alone)
• my class ring (which actually has the name "Beast" on it)
• every certificate for anything I ever did
• track medals for events I have no recollection competing, but apparently excelled, in
• a Paula Abdul cassette tape
• rainbow shoelaces
• Every concert ticket stub I ever had (including but not limited to: Milli Vanilli, White Snake, Adam Ant, Culture Club, Cyndi Lauper, Eddie Money, Def Leppard, and multiple Bon Jovi's to name a few
• A really dark almost purple lipstick, circa 1989
• lots and lots of fake gold jewelry
• all my report cards (A nursery school progress report stating I have good "motor skills" and "shares well"
• friendship bracelets made of yarn that were so dirty I think they could have started the Bird Flu here in the states
• a diary that often refers to a few people I have absolutely no recollection of
• McDonalds gift certificates that expired in April 1991

Just to list a few things I found.....

Sadly, I did make the choice to purge most of the notes..... after hours of reading, remembering, laughing really hard, and a few "who was this person?!" moments... I filled a large garbage bag, and said "thank you for my life" to whoever may be listening and sent most of them down the garbage shoot, with a big smile on my face.

As I shed a brief and almost surprising tear at the act of junking my documented adolescents, I began to realize I have NEVER been this unpacked.... since the days of those notes being passed. Never in my life have I been free of a packed box in a closet somewhere. And I was stunned. And I tried to figure out the motivation.... and as I sat and cleaned and folded laundry and thought.... I realized its the "home" syndrome. I feel like I'm home again for the first time in over a decade. Where that comes from, I have not fully investigated yet. But I'm sure it has to do with a comfort of sorts, and a sense of stability and happiness in where you are and who you're with. And I found that, and I knew it before I actually realized I knew it. I wouldn't have spent 10 hours unpacking everything if I had any sense of reservation about my life, my apartment, my partner, and where its all going.... I really surprised myself. Funny how when you let your logic go, sometimes your body and mind will take on a task that really means something, really has a purpose beyond its practicality or necessity, and when you take a moment to stop and realize what you just did, you can also see how you feel in your actions.

It was a fascinating day, and I am so grateful for my life, and to be who I am, and to be surrounded by the people I am, and most of all..... to realize it. So I start this Tuesday with a pile of empty boxes, a sore neck and back, and a full heart.

Thank you to everyone who is a part of that. And thank you to my new "roommate" for having the patience to help me open my eyes to the possibilities....... when I have kept them so tightly closed for so many years.

Love to all of you,
Cyn