In the words of Jimmy Buffett.....
" I gotta fly to St. Somewhere......"

It’s that time of year again….. when the number in my age goes up and the thoughts of “what does it all mean” start to take over my mind all day long. Although this year, there is the wonderful distraction of remembering our wedding, and the disbelief that a year really has gone by. What a week that was…… best wedding I’ve ever been to, but I’m a bit bias I guess.

Maybe it’s the trip to St John….. whenever I come back from that place I feel as though I am living my life wrong….. not in the sense of bad, or poorly, but just incorrectly. Being on that island makes me realize how little I really need to survive, be content, and even happy. I think of what dictates my habits here at home…and I look at the things I spend my money on, which is really a masquerade of what your core values are, and I realize I don’t need half of what I own, and I don’t own much. Most of my possessions I realize are a reaction to some sort of boredom or period of discontent.

Clothing….. I don’t have that much but I certainly have more than I need, and some things I don’t think I’ve ever worn, or have only once….. so it’s the shopping that cures something…. passes the time…. Gets me out but not in the rain or snow…. .. Then there are the computers, electronics, gadgets, huge TV, countless movies and expanded cable, and super-fast internet…. Again, to pass the time indoors while it’s freezing outside, and that’s just to point out a few examples.

In the islands, you are surrounded by such beauty, and have nature and the water to pass your time…. You really need very little in terms of those types of possessions. A few good books and a snorkel, and I really don’t see how that wouldn’t be enough. And clothing…. Of course it depends on your occupation, but the basics are just to cover up, not for warmth and survival, but just enough to be appropriate in public. Here a person requires not only seasonal clothing, hats, scarves, gloves, but just think of the shoes……. We even need shoes for rain, snow, work, walking, summer… it’s crazy to think of the average shoe requirements of someone living in the Midwest. At least to be comfortable year round that is.

Heat and air conditioning, we are so over-product and over-serviced here that we seem to actually believe that we can’t survive without all those things. I know someone who doesn’t have cable….. and it makes me gasp. "How the hell do you live without it?", I think to myself. I didn’t see TV for 10 days while in St John, and I didn’t notice its absence.

Could I live like that here? In a city that has so much going on you couldn’t do it all in a lifetime if you tried something new each day….. could I give up all those distractions and services and conveniences and luxuries and amusements? My guess is no. Because the overwhelming sense of urgency here leads us to believe, no matter how much you fight it, you believe that you NEED those things for basic survival. And the most fascinating part is you really do believe it…. something about the way we all live here….

If you took my cable and my blackberry, I might cry.
If you busted the windows out of my car and gave away my winter boots, I might cry…
If you gave me only access to dial up and ONE computer…. I might cry….
If you closed the store at 9pm and I had only one option for all my shopping, I might cry.

My phone didn’t work on the island……
I wore the same pair of shoes in the water as I did out to dinner (and splurged and purchased one more pair, only because they have beer openers built into the soles!).
The Jeep we drove didn’t have windows…. at all.
The scooter we rented…. well that was just a scooter… no doors, no windows, no heat, etc.
The house we stayed in had no solid walls…. just screens….. all around… no drywall in the entire place, or windows…. No glass…. All screen.

The water ran hot when needed, the stove and fridge did their jobs, the roof kept me dry (majority of the time, depended how hard the wind was blowing).

The thing I realized, and that hit me as I was flying down a 70 degree grade on the back of a scooter with my husband howling in the wind in unbridled joy….. the island takes care of you. The weather warms you in the day and cools you with the wind, it rains just enough to keep the shower running and the toilet flushing, everything around you has the potential to be entertaining and educating at the same time. And you can sit outside at night, watch the sky and the island lights, and it’s a new show each time, and during the day the water and the locals and the tourists, and it’s a new show each time.

The island takes care of you. Whereas here….. the city will eat you alive at the first sign of weakness. It is a challenge of survival every day. It takes the right kind of person to live here, and sustain a life here… and I am very proud of the fact that I have done that, and done it well, and been happy doing it….. but I wonder…. as another year is added to my age, and my marriage turns 1, and my dog and my cat are now friends…… is it time to start living and stop surviving?

So…. As I ponder the significance of our life, and the weekend that is now to be known as the “triple threat” (john’s birthday today, our anniversary tomorrow, and my birthday Sunday)…… I will continue to dream about the day when I get to look at a tourist fresh off the ferry, while admiring their fish-belly-white feet peeking out of their brand new Tevas, smile at them and say with a wink…”stay left, Mon!”

Love to all of you,
Cyn