Memorial Day...... just a thought.
On Monday (and everyday for that matter) remember to remember those that have helped secure your freedom. And look ahead to those that continue to protect it, and support them even if you don't support the government paying them their meager wages to do so.
Friday, May 23, 2008
To answer the "Why the Jeep" question.......
While I was very happy to be able to replace the Toyota, although I loved it..... and be able to have a car again..... I felt that no one shared in my joy, but instead seemed a bit put-off by the transaction. After listening to comments over the last month, and feeling awkward about people's reactions, I feel an urging to give some reasons, not that I need to do that at my age, but will for those outside of my world who don't understand the choice, maybe this will help......
1.) THE LONGING: I am 34 and have never had a car that wasn't either given or sold to me at a drastically discounted rate from my Mom (God bless her), or found "what a deal" as long as you don't care what it looks like from my Dad (the Delta 88).... Again, greatly appreciated that help and those opportunities, and am very grateful to have had great cars that I could not have otherwise afforded... but now I am 34 and simply picked out a car I wanted...... for the first time in my life. And although she is 5 years old, she looks and feels like a new car to me, and that makes me feel great!
1.) THE MATH: This may not make any sense to anyone else, but the car payment (especially one that doesn't start for 90 days) is a lot cheaper than a new engine. Simple math..... if I had $2000 just lying around for an engine this wouldn't be an issue, but I don't. Additionally, why not sell the Toyota while its still worth something. The blue book on the Toyota (running, of course) is a ridiculous amount, so why not sell it before the mileage gets out of control and the rust takes over the wheel wells.... Sure I could have driven it until it fell apart, (which I DID but this still doesn't make sense to some). But then I get nothing back. Sure, no car payment in that time, but also nothing to start with once it dies either. My payment hasn't increased from car to car, and I stand to make a few thousand this way.... seems silly to do anything else.
2.) THE ALTERNATIVE: Here is an excerpt from an article in the Chicago Tribune..... I am not a brat, and I am not lazy... that is not why I went out and replaced my transportation so quickly. But this would be my CTA stop, twice a day, everyday.....
By Robert Mitchum Tribune reporter
May 23, 2008
Francis Oduro came to the United States to follow in his father's footsteps and take advantage of the country's educational opportunities to study engineering.Oduro, 22, liked living in Chicago. But he was horrified by the violence he would see every night on the news, including gunplay that was unheard of in his native Ghana, his family said.
On Wednesday night, Oduro became a victim of that same violence, gunned down along the 4500 block of North Broadway as he walked to a CTA train stop from Truman College, where he had been taking classes for more than a year. Another man, a suspected gang member who police said may have been the target of the shooting, was critically injured. Early Thursday morning, officers showed up at Oduro's home bearing the grim news that the young man had died in the crossfire. About 9:15 p.m., Oduro was walking the same direction as another man down Broadway when an unknown offender between the ages of 18 and 20 opened fire, police said.
The other shooting victim was taken in critical condition to Illinois Masonic Medical Center, while Oduro was pronounced dead at the scene. Police were examining surveillance video Thursday for evidence, but no one had yet been taken into custody, spokeswoman Monique Bond said. The news left Oduro's family to grapple with the thought that their promising young relative may have merely been caught in the middle of the violence that he so feared.
Tribune staff reporter Angela Rozas contributed to this report.
Had I known I would not have a car I would have chosen a different place to live. That's just the way it works in Chicago. I simply did what I had to do, and what I wanted to do, and there is nothing wrong with that.
That's all I have to say about that.....
-Cyn
While I was very happy to be able to replace the Toyota, although I loved it..... and be able to have a car again..... I felt that no one shared in my joy, but instead seemed a bit put-off by the transaction. After listening to comments over the last month, and feeling awkward about people's reactions, I feel an urging to give some reasons, not that I need to do that at my age, but will for those outside of my world who don't understand the choice, maybe this will help......
1.) THE LONGING: I am 34 and have never had a car that wasn't either given or sold to me at a drastically discounted rate from my Mom (God bless her), or found "what a deal" as long as you don't care what it looks like from my Dad (the Delta 88).... Again, greatly appreciated that help and those opportunities, and am very grateful to have had great cars that I could not have otherwise afforded... but now I am 34 and simply picked out a car I wanted...... for the first time in my life. And although she is 5 years old, she looks and feels like a new car to me, and that makes me feel great!
1.) THE MATH: This may not make any sense to anyone else, but the car payment (especially one that doesn't start for 90 days) is a lot cheaper than a new engine. Simple math..... if I had $2000 just lying around for an engine this wouldn't be an issue, but I don't. Additionally, why not sell the Toyota while its still worth something. The blue book on the Toyota (running, of course) is a ridiculous amount, so why not sell it before the mileage gets out of control and the rust takes over the wheel wells.... Sure I could have driven it until it fell apart, (which I DID but this still doesn't make sense to some). But then I get nothing back. Sure, no car payment in that time, but also nothing to start with once it dies either. My payment hasn't increased from car to car, and I stand to make a few thousand this way.... seems silly to do anything else.
2.) THE ALTERNATIVE: Here is an excerpt from an article in the Chicago Tribune..... I am not a brat, and I am not lazy... that is not why I went out and replaced my transportation so quickly. But this would be my CTA stop, twice a day, everyday.....
By Robert Mitchum Tribune reporter
May 23, 2008
Francis Oduro came to the United States to follow in his father's footsteps and take advantage of the country's educational opportunities to study engineering.Oduro, 22, liked living in Chicago. But he was horrified by the violence he would see every night on the news, including gunplay that was unheard of in his native Ghana, his family said.
On Wednesday night, Oduro became a victim of that same violence, gunned down along the 4500 block of North Broadway as he walked to a CTA train stop from Truman College, where he had been taking classes for more than a year. Another man, a suspected gang member who police said may have been the target of the shooting, was critically injured. Early Thursday morning, officers showed up at Oduro's home bearing the grim news that the young man had died in the crossfire. About 9:15 p.m., Oduro was walking the same direction as another man down Broadway when an unknown offender between the ages of 18 and 20 opened fire, police said.
The other shooting victim was taken in critical condition to Illinois Masonic Medical Center, while Oduro was pronounced dead at the scene. Police were examining surveillance video Thursday for evidence, but no one had yet been taken into custody, spokeswoman Monique Bond said. The news left Oduro's family to grapple with the thought that their promising young relative may have merely been caught in the middle of the violence that he so feared.
Tribune staff reporter Angela Rozas contributed to this report.
Had I known I would not have a car I would have chosen a different place to live. That's just the way it works in Chicago. I simply did what I had to do, and what I wanted to do, and there is nothing wrong with that.
That's all I have to say about that.....
-Cyn
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Do the Crossroads ever end?
That is the question bothering me today..... does life ever calm down? Do things ever continue just as they are, and as you expect them to? I used to look forward to the twists and turns.... it was a source of excitement and an exhilarating reminder that life is so very unpredictable and fragile.... but for some reason I feel differently now. The twists and turns have left me panic stricken and depressed. I guess its because if it all blew up, I had nothing to lose before. So be it..... drag myself out of the ruble and carry on..... but now things seem different, I feel weighted down and responsible for things and I am no longer just a "me" but a "we" and life that way is so much more complex.
So what to do......
It is the road less traveled that has always fascinated me, and inspired me even if I did not take it. the very thought of it would provoke new ideas and new actions and new adventures within my own world. Even if I didn't venture out to a new continent or occupation as I would like to. And in this process of aging and life changing, I realize I am a bit of a control freak.......and its funny because courage only counts when you are unsure of the outcome..... that's bravery, the unknown circumstance being irrelevant to the action you take. I think it was Winston Churchill who said "True courage is the journey from failure to failure with out losing your enthusiasm." I really like that. It resonates well when you fall on your face a second time in the same situation. I seem to be doing that more often.
I also am starting to wonder..... have I just been going about this life all wrong? ... if that makes any sense... Have I caught up to my depth and my thinking. A friend describes me as a critical thinker.... all the time... always analyzing and evaluating and debating.... and taking things so much deeper than most. She admires it, but I think its one of my greatest flaws. It makes my life harder than someone who operates on the surface and has that "take it as it is" outlook. So I find myself lonely in my thinking, and lonely in my life... not connecting at the same levels and trying to understand those that don't think like I do. So..... was I simply ahead of myself before, and now I'm current? My mom calls me an old soul, saying that sometimes its like I have lived 100 years in my heart and mind in the way I see life.... and I feel like I have, and I feel like I'm done now.
There are very few things that get me through my days, and it seems as those things grow fewer in number as I get older. So maybe I need to create replacements, or is it just time to pick it up and try life elsewhere again.... maybe its my surroundings and the longing to be somewhere else that generates that general malaise and discontent I feel. Maybe its just still too cold and its the middle of May.
I wish I knew the answer, or at least the direction.....
So, in my sense of empty hopelessness that I am struggling with today, the comfort I feel comes from the same place it always comes from...... in the words of Mr Jimmy Buffett......
"breathe in, breathe out, move on........"
That is the question bothering me today..... does life ever calm down? Do things ever continue just as they are, and as you expect them to? I used to look forward to the twists and turns.... it was a source of excitement and an exhilarating reminder that life is so very unpredictable and fragile.... but for some reason I feel differently now. The twists and turns have left me panic stricken and depressed. I guess its because if it all blew up, I had nothing to lose before. So be it..... drag myself out of the ruble and carry on..... but now things seem different, I feel weighted down and responsible for things and I am no longer just a "me" but a "we" and life that way is so much more complex.
So what to do......
It is the road less traveled that has always fascinated me, and inspired me even if I did not take it. the very thought of it would provoke new ideas and new actions and new adventures within my own world. Even if I didn't venture out to a new continent or occupation as I would like to. And in this process of aging and life changing, I realize I am a bit of a control freak.......and its funny because courage only counts when you are unsure of the outcome..... that's bravery, the unknown circumstance being irrelevant to the action you take. I think it was Winston Churchill who said "True courage is the journey from failure to failure with out losing your enthusiasm." I really like that. It resonates well when you fall on your face a second time in the same situation. I seem to be doing that more often.
I also am starting to wonder..... have I just been going about this life all wrong? ... if that makes any sense... Have I caught up to my depth and my thinking. A friend describes me as a critical thinker.... all the time... always analyzing and evaluating and debating.... and taking things so much deeper than most. She admires it, but I think its one of my greatest flaws. It makes my life harder than someone who operates on the surface and has that "take it as it is" outlook. So I find myself lonely in my thinking, and lonely in my life... not connecting at the same levels and trying to understand those that don't think like I do. So..... was I simply ahead of myself before, and now I'm current? My mom calls me an old soul, saying that sometimes its like I have lived 100 years in my heart and mind in the way I see life.... and I feel like I have, and I feel like I'm done now.
There are very few things that get me through my days, and it seems as those things grow fewer in number as I get older. So maybe I need to create replacements, or is it just time to pick it up and try life elsewhere again.... maybe its my surroundings and the longing to be somewhere else that generates that general malaise and discontent I feel. Maybe its just still too cold and its the middle of May.
I wish I knew the answer, or at least the direction.....
So, in my sense of empty hopelessness that I am struggling with today, the comfort I feel comes from the same place it always comes from...... in the words of Mr Jimmy Buffett......
"breathe in, breathe out, move on........"
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