A celebration !! Cheers to a recent "birthday" of sorts. . . .
I wanted to take a minute to celebrate. Unfortunately, the one person I could properly celebrate this with has moved on and I am sure his new girlfriend would not share my enthusiasm, so I am stuck to celebrate myself. And I will. But side note: Best to you Ry.

I have lived in this amazing city 6 years now.....

I say "birthday" because I feel as though I almost started my life the day I unloaded that U-Haul truck in a January snow storm. My life began when I moved to Chicago. Its a difficult thing to put into words. Most people don't have it in them to be too drastically effected by their surroundings. Maybe a mood is influenced by a rainy day, or a traffic jam, but not like this.....

I will never forget the first morning I woke up in my Chicago apartment. And not just because it was hours earlier than I would have liked, thanks to the train 15 feet outside my window. But because I felt an exhale that was 10 years over due. My shoulders felt smaller, and my back felt looser, and my breathing felt deeper, and my soul felt calmer. and all this even in the midst of the complete unknown. I won't lie, I was terrified at the same time. But it was a beautiful kind of fear. The kind that wakes you up, slaps your face, and demands to know who you are.... right then and there.... no deliberation.

I think a lot of people have the same experience, I think that is why there is this inexplicable camaraderie amongst the ""imports" as I call them. We all seem to get each other, if for no other reason than having to over come the journey. No matter how different it may have been, the end goal being the same..... you just have to live here.

Even today, 6 years later, I can't tell you why. It is certainly not an easy place to live. I think I have spent more in parking tickets than car payments, and my rent could have paid for a nice 4 bedroom in Grand Rapids by now..... But none of that seems to matter. I pay twice as much for a gallon of milk or gas than the rest of Illinois, I save up for 2 weeks to go out to dinner if I can get a table in 3 hours. . . . It takes me 45 minutes to drive 5 miles to work, then I come home to a hundred year old, drafty apartment that I can barely afford after trying to park my car for 30 minutes on a street that may or may not tow me by morning, depending on the date and position of the moon.

And I still think I am one of 3 million of the most fortunate people on this planet. So today, I feel the need to say thank you Chicago.

Thank you for kicking my ass.
Thank you for the friendships you built.
Thank you for granting me courage.
Thank you for making me cry in loneliness.
Thank you for encouraging me to love.
Thank you for showing me compassion and tolerance.
Thank you for sharing your culture.
Thank you for giving me inner strength.
Thank you for educating me.
Thank you for making me feel beautiful.
Thank you for welcoming me in.
Thank you for waking me up.
Thank you for protecting me.
Thank you for opening my eyes, and my heart.
Thank you for teaching me to fly.

And thank you for starting my life, whether I was ready or not.

Good night all, from my sweet home . . . .
-Cyn