100 things you may, or may not, know about me......

1. My favorite color is jungle camo
2. I often feel like every single other person I have ever known is crazy (does that mean I am?)
3. I have been on weight watchers for 6 weeks
4. I have been starving for 6 weeks
5. I miss dance class (flashback starting in 1984)
6. My cat is the one thing on this planet that I feel I can relate to the most
7. I don't really like to drive
8. My dream job is to be a published author, and continually write a column
9. I hate laundry
10. I secretly, or not so secretly, hate where I work
11. I could probably live on noodles for the rest of my life
12. My favorite beverage is diet coke
13. I keep clothing I've had since high school, thinking I may fit into it again some day
14. I find it very hard to read and learn something I have no interest in
15. I may never finish college
16. I long for a day where I am debt free so that money is not a factor in every step I take in life
17. Debt is my biggest regret, and biggest source of stress and sadness
18. I miss my mom a lot
19. Moving to Chicago was the most terrifying and best thing I have ever done
20. I like being called "wife"
21. I never thought I would get married
22. I prefer shower to bath
23. I have chosen apartments solely for my cat
24. I have had 9 apartments in 10 years
25. I have no idea what my natural hair color would be today
26. I wear contacts
27. I use a paper Franklin planner, and will freak when they stop making them
28. I have very few real friends
29. It's very difficult to embarrass me
30. I wore the same shoes to work for 2 yrs, until Christie yelled at me to get some "girl"shoes
31. I have a "girl"shoe addiction, and handbags, shoes and handbags
32. Cake is better than pie
33. I love getting snail mail still
34. I don't think my vote ever actually matters
35. I could live on an island in a treehouse (think Nim's Island) and be happy
36. I couldn't live without music
37. I am much less sensitive than people think I am, and sometimes seem mean because of it
38. I make a wish at 3:23 every day (3/23 is my birthday)
39. I don't think I will live very long
40. My wedding reception was the most fun I've ever had at a party
41. I wish my head was bigger so I looked good in baseball hats
42. I wish my butt was smaller so I looked good in clothing (and without)
43. I like apartment life and don't understand why people own homes
44. I wish my family would visit me more
45. I am terrible at keeping in touch on the phone
46. I refuse to use powder creamer, and will skip coffee if my only option
47. I once at 3 Big Macs in one sitting (high school)
48. I have gained 30 lbs since high school
49. I secretly hate Facebook and all those "social" sites
50. "Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn is my favorite book... life changing
51. "Instinct" is one of my favorite movies
52. I have a freakishly powerful memory, I remember almost everything
53. I'm very skilled at 80's & 90's useless trivia
54. The older I get, the more I wish I could change society
55. I hope to float away on a boat when I'm old
56. I make enormous life sacrifices for my pets, and always will
57. Most people don't really like me
58. My best friends live hundreds, and one thousands, of miles away
59. I sleep with 3 pillows, and can't sleep if I have less than 3
60. My biggest fear right now is my building catching on fire and I can't get Vegas and Gracie
61. If I make cookies, I eat the dough and never a cookie
62. The big city has made me weary but fulfilled
63. I fear small town life
64. I get very nervous when there are no people around
65. I wear plastic press on nails ($5 a box) and have for 5 years, everyone thinks salon $$$
66. I applied for a dog handler position in Chicago and was rejected due to "lack of qualifications"
67. I get headaches often, so bad I want to poke my eyes out with a fork
68. I would never hire someone with the same first name as me
69. I love early mornings, but never get up for them
70. I don't need as much sleep as I actually spend sleeping
71. I like to cook, but am really bad at it
72. If I could change one thing about myself, I would have a beautiful singing voice
73. I am addicted to US Magazine
74. I don't trust people would never cry, dance, or sing in front of me
75. I'm always cold
76. I watched "Captain Ron" every night before I went to sleep for a year (late 90's I think)
77. I find Chevy Chase to be one of the funniest people to ever live
78. I love to argue (debate) but find most people don't like it
79. I can be really, really bossy
80. I am learning to like vegetables
81. I have never bought a dress because I just wanted to.... always had a reason
82. I belong to 3 professional organizations, and like working with them
83. I want to live on a sailboat someday
84. I haven't listened to the radio in over 10 years (cds and ipod...)
85. I have very little grasp on what "cool" is these days, and find I don't care
86. Jimmy Buffett music will always change my mood if needed
87. If I could meet one person from history, it would be Jesus, to get his side of this BS.
88. If I could meet one famous person now it would be Jimmy Buffett
89. If I had a college degree, I would change careers
90. There is a very, very long list of what I would do if I had a college degree
91. I can't sing, but I do as loudly as I can every opportunity I have
92. I love watching my documentaries
93. I look for those moments in people when they talk about something and light up
94. I find people to be very business oriented, and not so much "human" anymore
95. Being deeply in love is the most terrifying feeling
96. Trust is everything
97. I could watch the Shawshank Redemption every day and not get sick of it
98. I love and hate my Blackberry
99. I think I'm funny.... funnier than most people. I'm the funny friend
100. I never thought I would get to 100 on this post.....

It's official.... I am exhausted. And I never use that word. I hate that word... it almost implies you have given up, nothing left... just done. And now I feel myself thinking it more and more. I have not had 5 minutes to myself in months. Always somewhere to be, someone to see, something to do..... I just want to sit home and NOT be expected somewhere. I am tired of disappointing someone every weekend by being expected elsewhere, and if I were to change plans, someone else would be disappointed anyway.

Life is confusing enough... and I thought I was doing the right thing, but there comes a point when you have to take care of yourself too. Not that I haven't enjoyed my weekends visiting family and friends, but 10,000 miles in 4 months is a lot of road to cover, and I'm just tired. I'm tired of being in the car, and tired of not being able to squeeze everyone in, and tired of knowing I've let someone down, or forgot someone, or broken plans and the time didn't go as far as I'd hoped. And by the end of it I get home just in time to go to sleep so I can get up and devote my next 5 days to job and a dog and a cat and a household that wears me out even more.

So to anyone I have not seen enough, broken plans with, went to city A when I was supposed to go to city B, left earlier than originally planned, stayed one place too long or not long enough...... etc... etc... I'm sorry I can't keep up. I hope all those who feel slighted will forgive me. I did my best and I will be here in Chicago if you need me.

And so it begins....

That long spell of nothing between Mac races that makes me question my "station" in life... Its the post-mac depression that sinks in every August, filling me with "what does it all mean" and thoughts of taking a backpack and running away to some island (not Mackinac, something warmer!) and just living. A new life, a new start, a new scene, just new.... brighter, better, warmer, more meaningful... as if that was out there and I just haven't made the right turn yet.

Its a funny thing when you realize you need substance. You need your days to mean something and your daily efforts to effect someone in a positive way... and I only feel that about 8 days a year, and that's just not enough. Some people can put the same peg in the same hole 10 hours a day for 40 years, but I am not built that way. And not to belittle that peg in the hole, its a part of the bigger picture and that person is making something, but I find that I need to be closer to the forefront of the effect.... to connect with those effected.

Cause and Effect.... its a miraculous thing to watch a child start to notice the partnership... and I guess I need that out of my every day life. Maybe that's why I love sailing, and learning how the wind effects the boat... and the realization that sometimes you just can't control what direction you're going and how fast you will get there. And that's what the race proves to us every July... Its a nice slap in the face to mankind, those that think they have harnessed all that Mother Nature has to offer up... then suddenly Lake Michigan turns on you and shears your mast clean off your deck..... just to remind you who the boss really is. The arrogance of man.... but I digress, that's another rant for another day.

So now... as I'm working on a Saturday getting ready for a million of my closest friends to converge on the lakefront in Chicago and inhibit my every move home.... I'm reflective of the faces of all those sailors, and all the hours on the water... and all that gratitude for uttering the simple phrase of "welcome to the island, Sailor". The smile from ear to ear, and the pure joy of the rum drink after 80 hours on the water.... that's why I do what I do... for those faces, and those sailors, and that commitment to the water and the spirit and competition....

.....and the occasional rum drink on a tiny little island in Michigan. 364 days and counting.... is it July again yet?

Why "long pants with pockets" really ARE a necessity!

For those of you not around at the time, or don't remember, when I was a little kid and just out of the Onsie stage of clothing and could put a sentence together, it seemed VERY important to me to have"long pants with pockets". Always referred to the same exact way, and long pants without pockets just didn't fly.... it was a necessity and a very serious requirement in my life. I am not sure if I really went into detail as to why.... at 4 years old, did I need pockets?

Well.... this morning... I found out why one needs pockets.

So... life in the city with a "dog run" for a building of 200+ units... comes out to roughly 50 or so dogs (if the last mandatory dog owners meeting was a proper showing). In the dog run are baggies and a garbage can for the dog waste, for those of us that pick it up, which I do.

This morning, NOT wearing long pants with pockets, I take Vegas out and she does her business and I pick it up as usual..... keys and key card in hand, dog leash, and baggie of dog poop... I walk over to the designated garbage can, and throw it in.... I throw it ALL in.... everything in my hand. Keys, key card for back door, and baggie... all goes into the giant receptacle of dog crap marinading in the morning sun in the tiny dog run. It gets emptied about every 3 or 4 days, and today is probably day 3.....

I considered just taking Vegas to work with me, and not having to think about what I just did, but the Jeep keys are lost in a steamy can of crap...... so I'm forced to deal.

The large fence between our parking lot and the free world prohibits me from acquiring a stick that I might dig them out with, and not having any keys or way to get back into my apartment limits my "tool" quest. So... shrugging my shoulders and holding my breath.... I am forced to reach in and retrieve my keys and key card... manually. I least I could still maintain a visual on them.... so the digging was limited.

I'm not sure I am ready to fully talk about the experience, and I will be running my keys and key card through the dishwasher immediately upon arrival at home this evening. They are on the floor in my office right now, not in my purse, and have been sprayed with Lysol and drenched in liquid hand sanitizer... but I still don't feel better.

So.... the moral of the story... always.... ALWAYS..... wear long pants with pockets! I knew it at 4 years old... and should have just stuck with it. Kids... sometimes they really do know best.